Yuki in Training
by Lizuka
Summary: Haruhi subconsciously uses her powers to make Yuki act a little - or rather, a lot - more her actual age.
1. Original Story

It was a typical day, in the sense that all of the Brigade members had been told to report to their usual meeting place. Koizumi was running late as he often did, but the rest of the group was there.

Well, until Haruhi took a random costume in hand and got to dragging a squirming Mikuru off to some ill-defined place, anyway. With the opening that presented, though, Yuki Nagato's head made a very rare turn away from her book and over to the only other person presently in the room.

"Hm?" With Yuki, you had to be very attentive due to the fact that she had no ability to display emotions and seems incapable of speaking in sentences with more then four words half the time. Being that he needed her help so often, and trusted her more then anyone else in the school, Kyon had gotten quite good at reading her.

"Yuki?" Looking around lazily from the SOS Website, the boy glanced at the alien, "What's wrong?"

The girl rose from her seat, standing in place after doing so but intending to come closer if any need arose to do so.

"At an undetermined time yesterday evening, an alteration," explained the girl in her usual soft, emotionless tone. "Whether or not the results of it can be made clear cannot yet be determined."

"I see..." Frowning at this news, and briefly checking the door to make sure Haruhi wasn't about to barge in, Kyon turned more fully from the computer. "What's the situation here? If I need to do something about Haruhi to fix it, I should tell you- it would need to be pretty big."

Having not much in the way of emotion, and thus not much in the way of a sense of embarrassment, Yuki was not nearly as hesitant about her next action as anyone else would be. As she had said all that could adequately be said about the situation at the moment, the girl settled for pulling up her skirt - with the exposure of what was underneath it, she said simply, "At an undefined time yesterday, these materialized."

"GAH!" Granted, Kyon liked Yuki perhaps the most of all the members, but physically she wasn't that attractive. Mikuru took that category without even trying with Haruhi a fair but far second.

And since Kyon was not a pervert (secret computer pictures of Mikuru notwithstanding), he immediately pulled his face away at the motion, "WHOA! What are you doing? This... Can't you just tell me what she did to you? I don't need to see your panties for it."

"You misunderstand." With that simple phrase mumbled out, the girl continued on to say, "However, it is easiest for you to see the results if you would not avert your gaze."

"She... She didn't... change your sex or anything, did she?" Already having enough gay vibes from Koizumi, Kyon was hesitant to look less that be the case. Still, he gave Yuki a high amount of trust and gladly glanced up to see her.

"Hm... Are those training pants?"

"Correct." With that confirmed, Yuki went on to speculate, "I theorize that Suzumiya's subconscious somehow picked up the length of time I have existed and made certain adjustments."

"Hm. I suppose..." Kyon frowned as he thought that over. Training pants took him back to helping his sister get potty trained. Wiping piss stains off the carpet... Have her climb in bed with him...

"Have you had any other child-like materials manifest around you?" questioned the boy worriedly. "If it's just these, you'd be very lucky."

"There have been other changes. For instance, the cups in my home have all become spillproof." The girl continued on, not seeming to notice (or maybe just not care) as her lower body gave a slight fidget then. "Further, my books have all become much more basic in style and content. Other changes have been observed."

"I see...." Standing, Kyon stared intently at the new garment on her body before becoming alarmed and backing away. "... Yuki? Are you... Are you peeing?"

"I have been attempting to wait, but I could do so no longer." With how calm the girl was about that, it was still probably slightly offputting when she was just as direct about her next point, "However, for other needs I still require immediate access to a potty." The last word was said just as softly and directly as anything else the girl had ever said, setting off no apparent alarm for her.

"..... Ah." This was so weird... He almost wished his kid sister was so calm in her potty years... "Well... How are you holding up with all this? You seem pretty calm about it."

"Panic will not help the situation." After that simple explanation, though, the girl had to change the subject a small bit, "This line of discussion must go on hold for a moment - I believe that I will require assistance."

"Oh..." Now thoroughly uncomfortable, Kyon looked back at the door before asking, "You uh... You can't just... Y'know, change it by yourself?

"That is not the only problem on hand," the girl explained, still standing as still as ever and with her voice unwavering, "I will require assistance in finding a potty in quick a fashion as is feasible, as well as in the required tasks I must do there. I tried to obtain data about these tasks after this situation initially arose - results were insufficient."

"Oi..." Palm meet face. Shaking his head in irritance, Kyon grumbled out, "Just figured Haruhi could find even more irritating ways to take this... Hang on.."

Growling, Kyon took the girl's hand and began casually leading her to the hallway, "Great. Come on... How badly do you need to go?"

"It is urgent." Yuki gave a measure of around how urgent a second later, when she speculated, "I would assume that from this moment I have 41 seconds."

"GAH!" Granted that was useful... Looking worried, Kyon began dragging Yuki down the corridor at the highest speed possible toward the bathroom, "Hold it, okay! We're almost there!"

"I will make an attempt," the girl answered, calm despite the situation on hand. As the two got to right about the entry way of the bathroom, Yuki updated, "Eight seconds."

"Hangonhangonhangonnn..." Pulling the girl into a stall, (having hopped into the boy's bathroom by pure habit) Kyon yanked Yuki in front of a toilet, rose up her skirt,a nd looked away as he pulled her training pants down.

Kyon's timing could not have been much more perfect, as the instant the girl was seated time was up. Still showing no particular reaction even as she let go, after a few seconds Yuki saw fit to let it be known, "I have finished."

"Ah..." THis was all kinds of uncomfortable... Thinking back to potty training his sister and turning red as he thought of what came next, Kyon look back at her, "Look... You can wipe, right?"

Yuki's answer was a quick and rather roundabout answer to the negative, "I attempted to acquire information as to how to do so - there was insufficient data."

"I don't suppose I could just talk you through it, could I?" Questioned the teen, reaching for some toilet paper, he broke it off, offering it to her. "Not that hard...."

Yuki took in the information in a minute, before she gave a nod that probably came much to the boy's relief. "That would suffice."

"Fine..." Sighing in relief, Kyon turned away from the girl, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Just... Run that through your butt, alright? Then flush it down the toilet..."

God, he thought he was through with all this... Sighing,t he boy asked, "How could this happen, anyway? Haruhi has no idea how old you are."

While the girl did as instructed on the wiping front, she answered, "It is unclear. It could be that the facet of Suzumiya's subconscious that is dedicated to her abilities has a certain ability to draw knowledge from the world around it, but no theories or conclusions can be made at this time."

After that, and a little more wiping, Yuki had a question, "I require assistance - what object is known as 'the toilet'?"

"Uh... The potty," grumbled out Kyon, facepalming again. "The toilet is also called the potty."

"Oh." With the fact now in her head, the girl tossed the toilet paper away - she did, at least, retain the knowledge she needed in order to flush for herself afterward. Standing in place now with her wet training pants at her ankles, the girl commented, "I require further assistance."

"Wait is it n- GAH!" Having seen way too much for just a moment, Kyon looked away, "Y-You can pull your training pants up now!"

"These are wet," the girl explained simply, before commenting, "I will require new undergarments if I am to avoid a rash."

"Ah..." Now sighing, Kyon asked in exasperation, "Where do you keep 'em? And also- can you put them on yourself?"

Yuki could of course clearly recognize Kyon's reaction to this whole ordeal, but it had no effect on her unflinching manner, "They are being stored within a bag in the room. I will not require assistance on this matter."

"That's a relief," grumbled out Kyon, rubbing his eyes as he turned around without thinking about it, "I can go... Ugh..." Shutting his eyes immediately, he bemoaned, "So that's what the unmentionables of a creation of the Integrated Data Entity looks like..."

Trying to get the image out of his mind, Kyon noted, "Look, just... Throw those away, I'm going to go get some clean, hang on..." Glancing around the room, the boy sighed again, "Oh... We're in the boy's bathroom... Maybe it'd be better if you waited int he stall."

"I will remain here," the girl answered simply, standing unflinching with no apparent disregard for her state of partial undress. "There is one other matter that we will need to attend to when you return."

"Do I want to know now?" asked the boy in irritance... Deciding he probably didn't and that he needed to catch his thoughts, he turned and made his way to the door, "Be right back."

Of course, as she stood waiting all Yuki could do was patiently count the seconds and wish that she had brought with her a book. Though there was also a slight urge to suck her thumb, but the girl resisted it.

She didn't carry out any significant form of action until Kyon returned with what he'd be sent for, and even that was nothing more than a cursory glance in his direction.

"Alright, here...." Maybe figuring Yuki would want a book to keep occupied, Kyon withdrew a copy of Where The Wild Things Are from her bag along with a few training pant. Looking stressed, but adjusting, he sighed and leaned on the stall door, "So what was the other thing you needed help with?"

The first order of business was changing - the girl did that quickly, before picking up the book that had been brought to her. She did not dive straight into reading, however, instead merely holding the object while she explained, "There is a dilemma - I live alone. However, I am not able to perform certain actions without assistance."

"..... Ah." That did seem very troublesome... Seeing certain images playing out in his mind, Kyon noted, "You uh... Must've had a lot of problems after these first materialized last night."

"To some degree." The girl quickly elaborated on what sort of problems she had had, "As attempts to obtain data on the potty were insufficient, I had no choice but to wait until things progressed naturally. Upon that occurrence, with no information on wiping, I was forced to run a bath. It is an approach that is viable but inefficient."

"Ah, I see..." sighed the boy, a very sad mental image coming to his mind. "Suppose you really stained the tub then, huh?"

Now it was hard not to feel bad for Yuki, regardless of how calm she seemed about it. With a reluctant sigh, the boy put a hand on her shoulder, "So... What do you need?"

"There are a number of possible solutions." The girl glanced at the hand at her shoulder, not showing any other particular reaction besides giving it acknowledgment, "There are two options receiving the most consideration - one of those would require that someone be found to assist me each evening. If this route were to be taken, then once this information is able to be spread then the duty could alternate between yourself, Suzumiya, Koizumi, and Asahina."

The girl followed up a second later, calmly saying, "Under the second leading option, a switch would be made to diapers until sufficient information on the potty becomes available."

"Hm..." Kyon put a hand on his chin as he thought that over... "Well... Problem with the first one is that I don't know how much time we could spend on that." Shrugging he simply explained, "Even if we alternated, we'd have to spend about two nights a week staying with you apiece. And I'm not sure I want Haruhi finding out about this."

"And that's the problem with the other one," he continued skeptically. "If.... Haruhi found out you wore diapers, aren't you afraid that could give her.... ideas?"

"That is a possibility." Still holding her book, the girl pressed onward, "None of the approaches that the situation presents promise entirely desirable results."

"Hm... Indeed, neither do, but we can't leave you like this..." Thinking it over, the boy began to slowly pace, "I... Suppose we could keep you in diapers and try to keep it from Haruhi, but even then we'd have problems, don't you think?"

"Correct." After the confirmation, the girl went on to speculate, "Preventing such a solution from becoming known to Suzumiya would not be as difficult as it could be under other circumstances, however, as I retain a degree of control. However, there is another issue to be had with the matter."

The girl explained quickly, in the same mumble as always and while standing perfectly still, "When such needs arise in public situations, there will be no possibility of cleaning myself within the tub, which is all that there is data for."

The girl seemed to be hit with something, though, as she continued a bit further, "Another possible solution - when in a public presence, training pants may be ideal - diapers could be restricted to when I am in my own home."

"Hm.... That kinda works," grumbled out Kyon, before continuing. "Problem is... Yuki- do you know much about diapers? Given what's... happened to you, they might not be the best thing to have when you're alone in the house."

Yuki's answer was immediate, "Diapers would function in the same manner as training pants. As I am capable of removing and changing those, I would be able to pull diapers up and down as needed."

Again, facepalm, "This is a train wreck- it's like potty training in reverse. Okay..." Looking intently at the alien in the training pants, Kyon tried to patiently explain, "Listen... diapers don't slide on and off. You have someone tape them onto your bottom and leave them there. Then you just go in them and afterward, that person has to take them off and put them back on. They're not really made for usage with the potty."

"Documented." The girl was rather stonefaced as usual in having this explained to her, especially given the life she was used to living compared to the events of the past day. Yuki changed the subject a little then, however, "As you possess more data than is available at this moment, what solution would you recommend?"

"Hmm..." Briefly starting to pace, Kyon thought this over. "Perhaps you could move in with Itsuki or Mikuru... I could offer you room with me and my family, but that could raise some questions, and we can't risk Haruhi getting jealous again...."

Still, seeing Yuki live with either of those, especially Itsuki, did not seem that appealing to the teenager. But still... potty-training Yuki would not be the same as potty-training a toddler... Idea striking him, the teen glanced back at her, "Yuki, you've been storing all the data you've gotten from this, yes?"

The girl's answer was an immediate, "Correct." Eyes brieflyy turning down to her book, the girl looked back up in an instant before she questioned, "What is the relevance of the question?"

"Well," Kyon stopped passing, looking happily at the girl. "You could try coming over to my house tonight and Imouto and I could try giving you a crash course in potty training. We already settled the wiping thing, beyond that I'm sure we could teach you to change your own diapers for being alone- you'd be far more capable then a typical two-year-old."

"That sounds reasonable," the girl explained, nodding a little in confirmation of the idea. "Such education would be of great assistance in resolving the situation."

"Great." Looking visibly eased at that, Kyon patted Yuki on the shoulder, "You can come by tonight and we can settle this. I'll buy some dia-"

Someone half-stepped into the restroom and only got a brief glimpse of Kyon and the girl in training pants before being given a shout of "OCCUPIED!" and chased out by the force of the boy's voice.

* * *

"But if Yuki's not potty trained, how's she go swimming at the beach?"

Maybe it was a mistake to let Imouto in on this. Sighing, Kyon put a hand on his head as he walked downstairs, his sister still holding the package of diapers he'd bought, "It's complicated. Just don't bombard her with questions on this, okay."

"Awww, okay," mumbled out the little girl, skipping behind her brother. "So why didn't she get potty trained? Did her mom and dad not want to-"

DING-DONG

"That's her..." Leaving his sister in the living room, Kyon stepped forward, opening the door. "Hey. Good to see you."

"Hello," answered the girl at the door simply, a book held to her chest as per her usual and stance perfectly still. She stood perfectly still and emotionless as always, especially given what the girl had to say next, "As a precautionary warning, there are approximately seven seconds until I will be forced to make poopy. Four seconds."

"WAITWAITWAIT!" Oh, god. The bathroom was toward the back of the house, they'd never make it. Horrified, the boy began rushing with the teenage girl away from the door, holding her hand.

Of course, they weren't nearly close enough. Just as they passed the eight-year-old, she gave a brief wave, "Hi, Yuki!"

Yuki noticed but did not seem to acknowledge as her torso gave a slight squirm and a smell filled the house. Instead of saying anything about the odor clearly in the air, however, she met the little girl before her with another casual, "Hello."

"Ew..." Noticing the pair of teenagers had stopped, Imouto quickly put her hands over her nose, "Something smells gross! Yuki did you p-"

"Yes. She did." Looking annoyed, Kyon gave Yuki a pensive look. "Alright... First put your shoes by the door. Do you want to be put into a diaper right away, or another pair of training pants?"

Yuki's answer was quick, "A diaper. I will have to change into a diaper before leaving as it stands." The girl didn't seem to be acknowledging the fact that she was soiled in any significant way, but a careful eye could see her tighten her grip on her book ever-so-slightly.

"Ew... I bet it's gross..." Looking disgusted, Imouto still pointed at Yuki while addressing her brother, "Now I hafta change her right?"

"No, I was going to do that," noted Kyon simply, moving to lock the front door.

"You can't do that! You're a boy!" Huffing, Imouto looked up at Yuki, "You don't want a boy changing you, right Yuki?"

"It makes no difference." The girl's cold, alien nature apparently did nothing to loosen when greeted with gender differences, "The end result will be the same regardless of who changes me, I presume."

Sighing, Kyon saw a quick way to diffuse this situation. "Imouto. Smell that." When her sister got a yucky-face, he simply said, "Changing her might mean putting your hands in that. You want to try it?"

"Ewww..." backing off, Imouto shook her head. "Well, I-I guess if she says it's alright..."

"Great." Moving forward, Kyon smoothly took Yuki's hand as he walked her out. "Let's go."

As Kyon and Yuki headed off to elsewhere in the house for the the alien girl's changing, she saw fit to explain something, "I observed the need to poopy one minute, four seconds before it occurred, but as data on the potty is insufficient there was no solution."

"We can walk you through that. Don't worry." As they entered the bathroom, Kyon ripped open the package of diapers, "Lie down. So you only know how to pee in the toilet, then?

"I am also unclear on this point," the girl answered as she lied down. When her rear touched the floor there was another tightening of her grip, but otherwise Yuki showed no clear reaction. "Without assistance I only know how to locate the potty - I cannot progress beyond this alone."

"Yeah... we're definitely going to need to talk your through this..." mumbled out Kyon, unsure. "But we can give you a crash course on both this and how to change your own diapers if you need it."

First things first. Kyon immediately untaped the old diaper and tossed it away, casually asking, "Heh... That feel any better?"

"Yes." After that confirmation, the girl continued, "However, my comfort is not relevant. The important thing is that this was addressed soon enough to prevent a rash."

"Uh.. Do you put powder on?" questioned Kyon worriedly. With that he began wiping. "Ugh... I really thought I was done with this. Imouto took forever to get potty trained."

"DID NOT!" protested a voice from behind the door.

"Don't eavesdrop!" shouted Kyon angrily. "Go find something to do!" There was a giggling and pitter-patter of feet as Imouto dashed off.

"I must ask a question," Yuki asked, casually tuning out her bottom being wiped for her as one would a light breeze, "How long would you predict is the typical length of time it takes for potty training to be completed? Is it a time shorter or longer than two hours, on average?"

"Uh..." God, that was tough... Sighing, Kyon began powdering Yuki's rear end very simply. "Well... I guess that for most kids it takes a few weeks or even months. Imouto was a special case. Thing is, being how smart you are, you should go a good deal faster." Unfolding the diaper, he said, "You'll have to deal with that one-minute-warning, but it should get longer and longer after a while and is easy enough to fix as long as you hurry."

Yuki took that information in, silent for a few moments. Eventually, however, the girl spoke up once more in her usual flat, mumbly way, "Other than the clear differences, does making pee-pee or poopies in the potty function in the same manner as when the action is performed in a diaper?"

"I..." Wow, it was really a bit jarring seeing her vocabulary slash like that. Trying to think it over, he said, "I suppose you don't need to go find a potty to use a diaper. You can just stay where you are and not have to interrupt what you were doing before."

Taping the new diaper to Yuki's hips, he added, "Still, you should try and go potty as often as you can. Don't just get used to wearing a diaper."

"Documented," the girl answered with a small nod as she was taped shut, before she questioned, "However, what advantages come with making a poopy in the potty as opposed to doing the same inside a diaper?"

"It's..." Very weird question. Kyon didn't remember Imouto being so curious. "It's just better. Diapers aren't quite socially acceptable. And it's more ecological- diapers tend to make lots of trash."

"Hm." That pointed seemed to stick with Yuki as other than that sound of accepting the information she did not question it further.

"Also they're a pain to clean up, as you can see..." Sighing, Kyon stood up, offering a hand to the alien girl, "What did you want to try and learn first? Using the potty or changing yourself?"

Yuki accepted the hand, and was back to her feet in short order. The whole time she still had her book in hand, with no apparent interest in setting it down for a second. "If the potty will take weeks or months to gain all information on, then knowledge of diapers would be more valuable. However, I find that I feel thirsty at this point in no time."

Kyon facepalmed, getting a good sense as to what was coming. "Well... Using a cup would be too easy for Haruhi- she has to make everything insufferable. Let me just guess and say you need something else."

"Correct." Yuki once more gave a very light nod, before she explained, "All of my own cups became spill proof once the alteration was made. However, I often have trouble with drinking despite this."

Kyon sighed, rubbing his nose while his hand was still at his face, "Well, I think we've thrown out all those cups... How would a soda can do?"

"I do not believe that I have the capacity to drink from a can." After that statement, the girl explained, "I often have trouble finding the proper location from which to drink on spillproof cups."

Grumbling, Kyon sighed as he marched toward the door... "Hang on... I'll uh... I'll see what I can find."

Long shot, but he had to do something. Might as well give her something to drink while she was learning. About two minutes after Kyon left however, Imouto peeked around the door frame into the room. Seeing the cost was clean, she soon hopped in, "Hey! You're not poopy anymore!"

"No, I am not," Yuki answered in her usual flat way, grip on her book at last lessening a bit now that that was the case. "With assistance now available it is fair to assume that if I must make poopy again it will occur in the potty."

"Hehe... Yeah. That's what potty training's for," giggled out Imouto. This just seemed way too funny for her... Stepping forward, she bent her head inquisitively, although not quite low enough to look at under the alien's skirt, "Did big brother putcha in a diaper? Why aren't you potty trianed yet?"

Being unable to share the actual reason, Yuki gave a vague, "There is a complication. Due to issues with that, until I sufficiently understand the potty I will wear diapers except when there are individuals on hand who can assist me."

"Oh... okay. So that mean you're gonna just go poopy in them if you're not at big brother's club or at school and stuff?" Imouto asked, giggling.

"Correct," the alien answered, with no sense of the embarrassment anyone else would feel over this whole matter to be found in her stone cold face. "When I do not have proper assistance, I will use a diaper for when my body requires that I make pee-pees or poopies."

That took several minutes of giggling for the little girl to recover from. Yuki was just so dead serious, she made all of this hilarious, "H-Hey, do all the kids in big brother's club where diapers? Like Mikuru and- EEP!"

"That's enough," announced Kyon simply, picking up his sister from the scruff of her shirt. "Stop with all these questions, Imouto."

"Y-You surprised me!" Glancing at the boy's hand, she saw he was holding a baby bottle, filled with apple juice, "Hehe... Aww, that for Yuki."

"Yes." Putting his little sister down, Kyon smirked teasingly, "Why. You want one too?"

"Hey, I'm notta baby!"

Yuki, being as technical about things as she was, saw fit to chime in, "Correct, you are not an infant. Neither am I, however, so that fact has no baring on this matter."

"See, she says so too," replied Imouto, sticking out her tongue.

"Uh-huh." Disinterested, Kyon passed his sister by, offering Yuki the bottle, "Would this do? I found it covered it dust, but didn't see any sippy cups."

"I presume that you washed it, so this will suffice." Yuki took the bottle in one hand, the other still being used to hug her book to her chest. "This object is referred to as a ba-ba, correct?

"Pft..." That again got Imouto to let uot a little giggle.

"No.." growing annoyed, Kyon replied, "It's called-"

"Aw, don't correct it, big brother! She's too cute!" Grinning, Imouto pointed at the bottle the girl was holding, "Yup! That's your ba-ba! You can drink up while me and big brother teach you about the potty!"

The diapered girl did not hesitate any further, sticking the bottle into her mouth and sucking away, holding it up with just the one hand. After a few seconds of suckling, Yuki lowered the bottle low enough to say, "I am grateful."

"You're welcome," replied Kyon with a tiny smile. "So, what were we going to hit first again?"

"The subject that we should approach first is the matter of my diapers," Yuki answered matter-of-factly, before she popped the bottle back into her mouth for a moment. After drinking a bit more, she took it back out to explain, "If it will take a sufficient amount of time to understand the machinations of the potty, then the logical approach is to start with the task that can be mastered in a more timely fashion."

"Hm. Makes sense," replied Kyon, simply.

The smallest person present however, shrugged, "What about diapers does she need to know? I mean, doesn't she just need to poop in them and then be done?"

"She needs to know how to change herself without someone else helping her," came Kyon's response. Thinking that over, he looked to the alien girl simply asking, "How do you think would be the best way to get that information for you?"

"I am not certain," Yuki answered, stopping to drink more and in the process emptying the bottle of its contents totally. She stopped after a couple of seconds of fruitless (or perhaps more accurately, fruit juiceless) suckling, in order to take a guess, "The first thing to come to mind is that I will need someone to demonstrate while I observe. I could not adequately get a sense for how to perform the task while my diaper was changed due to my perspective."

From there, the girl had something to say on another subject, "On an unrelated note, this ba-ba has ceased producing juice - I would like to have more."

"Eheh... You have to re-fill them," noted Kyon nervously, taking the bottle from her. With that he beckoned the other two to follow, "C'mon, we can arrange that."

"But uh..." Aside from Yuki using the occasional baby-words like ba-ba, the little girl present found most of her phrasing practically Greek, "What'd she say she wanted?"

As Kyon fetched the carton of juice out of the fridge, he replied, "She wants to watch someone else get their diaper changed so she can figure out how to change herself." Unscrewing the top of the bottle, Kyon smirked, "Heh... Maybe I should put you in a diaper and let her watch that."

"HEY!" Imouto pouted, sticking her tongue out again, "Don't be mean, Kyon! I'm don't wear diapers anymore!"

"You sure? You're acting like someone who does."

"The task would be least invasive on an object with a suitable shape for comparison," Yuki theorized, before she also put forth an alternative theory, "In the absence of a large doll or a mannequin, however, there is only one person present close enough to my size and with dimensions close enough to the fit of the diapers to give a proper demonstration."

"I think she means you, big brother," replied Imouto with a wide grin. "Don't worry- if you need a diaper, I'll be happy ta change you!"

"Shush!" That certainly got the older boy grumpy. No way he was going to go through that- for Yuki or anyone... Considering things, he mentioned, "I think Imouto still has a teddy bear that's a bit bigger then she is. Would that do?"

Yuki gave a slight nod, before answering in more complete fashion, "I believe that would do. Perhaps one of the two of you should fetch it while the other completes my ba-ba."

"Hehe... I'll get her," protested Imouto, heading out the door. "I betcha she wouldn't mind having to wear diapers for a little bit."

"Heh..." As Kyon watched his sister leave the room, he began filling the bottle up carefully, "If you had a choice between the two of us, you would've gone with me, wouldn't you?"

"Yes," Yuki answered in short order, before elaborating, "I am familiar with you - further, you have provided assistance at all times asked of you."

"Well, be careful how much you ask of a person," grumbled out Kyon carefully, screwing the top back on the bottle. "Where you watching as I did this?"

"Unfortunately, with the conversation at hand I was unable to take the information in properly." Yuki went on to explain, "The next time the ba-ba needs fixed perhaps I can observe."

"Given how you guzzled down the last one, that shouldn't be long," As Kyon handed the bottle to the alien girl, he added, "Don't drink too much though, or you'll have to pee more. Understand?"

"I do not." Yuki stopped to get a sip of her bottle, before pulling it away to explain, "How is my beverage consumption related to what degree I would need to make pee-pee?"

"Ugh..." running on hand over his face, "Because. When something enters your body, it exits into your diaper. Juice and beverages come out as pee. Easy to get, right?"

"Documented." Yuki gave a small nod, before she asked for further reference, "While I can assume, for certainty what form does solid food come out in?"

"Crap," replied the teenager bluntly. "What else?"

"Here she is!" A large teddy bear appeared in the doorway, a pair of skinny prepubescent legs just visibly under it and two arms wrapped around its front, "You're free to diaper her up, big brother!"

Yuki was silent for a moment as the little sister entered, but once she did she had one further question. "Further clarification - is diaper in fact the correct term, or is it more accurate to refer to my present garment as a dydee?"

"Ooo..." Dropping the teddy to the ground, Imouto giggled out, "Know what? You shuold call it a dydee! People who wea-"

"Imouto, stop," said Kyon tiredly, setting the bear so it was on its back.

"Oh, c'mon..." Giggling out a bit more, the little girl continued with, "Hehe... See, people who wear diapers call them dydees, but people who don't just call them diapers."

"Not true," quipped Kyon. "Imouto wasn't still calling them dydees when she was in kindergarten."

"Hey! That was only for the night!"

"Hm. This will need clarification." Given the girl's highly-literal, fact-driven mind, being given conflicting sources of information came as close to confusing her as was particularly possible when dealing with Yuki Nagato. "Which is the correct term, diapers or dydees?"

Kyon turned to get a long look at the girl. After considering things for a moment, he decided to go with the proper term and just say, "Go with whatever you feel is better."

"Documented." The girl changed the subject back to the one on hand now, however, noting, "I am grateful. With that resolved, I believe that I am ready to observe the proper dydeeing technique."

"Well, sit on down, Yuki!" Giggling, Imouto gave the diapered teen a hug as she pulled her onto the floor. "Kyon'll show you how to do it. Although if he still doesn't wanna-"

"Next time you suggested that, remember I can wrestle you down and powder you just like I could when you were four." With Imouto sticking her tongue at him, Kyon soon informed his friend, "Okay, you watching?

"Yes." There wasn't much more that Yuki could say than that, instead following the word up by taking a sip of her juice. A careful eye could spot her shifting her book around a little, though, and her eyes briefly drifting down toward the piece of children's literature.

"Yuki!" Kyon had a naturally good idea, given how he worked with Haruhi so often. Now that he had the alien's attention, he unfolded a diaper, "I don't want to do this more then once, so pay attention. You see how I unfold it and slid it under like this?"

"Yes, I see." the girl answered with another of her small little nods. The girl's eyes managed to stay perfectly focused, almost unblinking, on the boy as he demonstrated, taking in the information in her usual direct way. However, that did not stop her lightly squirming with the book in her arms.

As she watched the bigger girl squirm, Imouto couldn't resist reaching over and lightly tickling her in the belly.

"Now you remember how you had to wipe after you go potty?" Not only did they not have any wipes immediately on hand, Kyon refused to try it on something without an anus, even as a learning aid. "You do that to yourself and then you take this pow-" Spotting his little sister going into tickling, he soon shot out, "Stop it."

Yuki showed no apparent reaction to the tickling as it occurred, but once the girl doing it had been told to stop she let out a very light, barely audible giggle. After that, however, the bookworm quickly got back to the subject on hand, "What is it that I am to do next? I have retained information on wiping. However, do I wipe in the event of a pee-pees too, or am I only to do so once poopies have been made?"

"When you pee, you have to wipe in the front," clarified Imouto simply.

While it wasn't in any way pleasant the mental images that brought up for Kyon on his baby sister's bathroom habits, he soon took out the bottle of baby powder and began applying it onto the bear's fuzzy rear, "After wiping, you powder your bottom like this, see?"

"Yes." This got another small nod as Yuki observed. However, after the powder had been coming down for three or four seconds and the girl had become familiar with the concept, her eyes couldn't help but start to drift down to her book once again.

"Eyes up," specified Kyon again, taking the diaper. "This si the last part. Just look at how I put attach this and pay attention." Folding the diaper up, he soon taped it around the bear's plush hips easily, "Got it?

After watching the process play out, Yuki's answer was an immediate, low, "Yes." The alien had a question after this, however, "Once the need arises for a new dydee, I assume that I am to undo those tapes. What is to be done with the soiled dydee after this, if I am correct?"

"Throw it away," replied Kyon. "Then put on a new one. It's simple enough."

"Hehe..." Patting the back of the teenager's diaper, Imouto soon asked, "You wanna try it yourself now?"

"I believe that I understand, and the need to practice this skill will surely arise at another time." With that said, Yuki continued onto another note as she began to squirm with her book once again, "Before the other part of the lesson begins, I would like to enjoy more of my ba-ba. Also, I would like the opportunity to read."

"Fine, fine..." Standing up and bluntly ripping the diaper off the bear, Kyon asked, "You need us to refill it?"

"Ooo, maybe Kyon can read to you!" suggested Imouto happily. "When I was little, he used to read all my books to me in big, silly voices." She soon grumpily added, "Before he turned 13 and started acting like a grumpypants."

"Hm." Yuki was silent for a moment, before she gave an answer, "I have not been read to in the past, but I believe that I would enjoy it. I have been having trouble with certain words as it stands." After that, the alien addressed the other topic, "Yes, my ba-ba has once more ceased producing juice - it will require repair."

Kyon sighed as he took the bottle and got to filling it back up, "Look, I just stopped doing that because it seemed silly."

Imouto however, saw fit to plead, "Aw, but Yuki would like it if you'd do it! And I'll even help you out! I can do funny voices. You'd like that, right, Yuki?"

After a moment the contemplation, the girl answered, "The addition of humorous vocalization could potentially be of benefit to the reading experience."

"Great!" Bouncing, Imouto hopped over to the alien while hugging her bear, asking "What book didja bring, Yuki?"

Kyon however looked much less happy as he popped the bottle back in the teen's mouth, "You could have said no, you realize."

Of course, after being reunited with her bottle Yuki wasn't wanting to go plucking it out right away. Instead, she loosened her grip on the book, before extending it with one arm to the physically younger yet potty-trained and actually older girl for her to see for herself.

"Aww, a Hello Kitty book." Grinning like a cat, Imouto held it up for her brother to see, "Bet this means you can do all kinds of funny voices."

As his sister began leading the diapered alien into the living room, Kyon followed with a sense of dread, "I think I can leave that to you..."

"But you gotta do some! There's a bit, men bear at the end of this story!"

Now that she had had enough time to savor her bottle a bit more, Yuki was more willing to remove it to say, "It would be appreciated. The voices would not be adequate were they not provided by one of the proper sex."

"See, Yuki's a baby and even she understands that," giggled out Imouto, giving the alien a pat on the butt before she let her sit down.

"Don't touch her there," scolded Kyon lightly, whapping her sister good-heartedly against the back of her head. "I'm sure she doesn't like it."

"It does not disturb me," Yuki answered immediately, in her same mumbly way as always. "I presume that it is considered an expression of affection."

"See? She thinks it means we care about her." Rubbing the spot where she was whapped, Imouto patted Yuki's bottom agian before leaning forward to speak to Kyon, "Can we start now?"

"Sure, sure..." Sitting on Yuki's opposite side, the boy opened the book and asked, "You need us to start at the beginning?"

"It would be preferable," the alien responded in short order. "Literature is often not as satisfying if you do not read the entirety in one sitting."

Sighing, Kyon opened the book up to the first page, speaking in a clear voice, "Once upon a time... There was a little kitten who lived under the stairs of a woodcutter. The woodcutter was a good, friendly man and left food out for her every day."

Yuki of course was plenty content to suck on her bottle, taking in the words but showing no clear reaction to them. Almost as soon as they had gotten into the book, however, she had to pluck the drink out of her mouth to announce with a monotone mumble, "I have 48 seconds until I will be forced to make pee-pee."

"What? Oh!" Almost thankful to end this, Kyon soon stood up and began pulling the alien toward the bathroom, "Alright, let's go! C'mon!"

"Wait, let me do it!" cried Imouto eagerly, following after her big brother. "You're a boy..."

"Oh, fine..." As he stepped back, Kyon sighed and let his sister pull their guest into the restroom.

"Why do we even have to do this anyway?" asked Imouto as she unceremoniously tore Yuki's diaper off. "I mean, she's padded and everything."

"I still have recognition of my needs," Yuki explained, before elaborating, "It is impractical to use my dydee as long as someone is on hand to assist in using the potty."

"Oh, okay." Nodding, Imouto guided the bigger girl onto the potty, sitting her down, "There ya go! Let loose!"

The girl did as instructed, bladder emtpying out into the toilet in short order. After she had finished, Yuki asked, "What is the next thing that I am to do?"

"Heheh... You wipe, remember?" Giggling, Imouto handed her some toilet paper before asking, "Ooo. Actually, maybe you should try putting your diaper on yourself again now."

"Documented." With that said, the girl rose, before she began to wipe as instructed. The only problem being that at some point wires had gotten crossed, and so Yuki began to wipe her bottom instead of the appropriate location.

"Eheh... No. Yuki...." Very giggly, Imouto had to reach for the girl's wrist to guide her to the space between her legs, "You only wipe your butt when you poop, okay? When you pee, you wipe here."

The girl gave a slight nod, before doing as instructed. When she was finished, the alien remembered from an earlier experience with Kyon that the next step was to throw the used paper in the toilet. After that, however, she had to ask for clarification, "What is next?"

"Well, unless you wanna walk around half-naked, you better lie down again." While this was all funny, Imouto was trying to keep quiet long enough to be a good teacher. Handing the three-year-old a diaper from the pack, she suggested, "Here. Unfold this, then slide it under your fanny. 'Kay?"

"Understood." As Yuki took the object and did as instructed, she had to comment, "The first time you brother assisted me in using the potty there was something that was done after wiping was completed. I cannot locate information on it, however."

"Hm? Oh!" Thinking on the subject, Imouto snapped her fingers before pointing at the toilet, "After you put the paper in the bowl, you need to flush it down. See the handle there?"

"Yes." With that answer as flat as ever, Yuki took the cue in assuming what to do from there. However, she didn't quite assume correctly - after grabbing the object as best she could manage, the alien's first reaction was to start pulling on it.

"Hehe.... No!" Shaking her head, and with the alien sitting up from the floor, Imouto couldn't help but pat Yuki cutely on the head, "Don't pull on it! Push one side down."

"Oh." Yuki did as instructed now, and in doing so the toilet flushed. She showed no apparent reaction to it, other than a comment of, "This is a peculiar device."

"Uh... I guess so," replied Imouto with a shrug. "I mean, when you think about it." After a moment of thought, she soon snickered out, "Hee.... 'Course when you think about it wearing underwear you pee in is kinda strange too."

Yuki was silent for a moment, mostly as she had nothing to say on the matter. After a few seconds, though, she asked, "What am I to do from here?"

"Oh! Duh!" Almost smacking herself, Imouto grabbed the baby powder and handed it to the three-year-old alien, "You saw when Kyon put powder on my bear. You hafta do the same thing. Okay?"

"Documented." After taking hold of the bottle, Yuki stared at it for a moment before she commenced to emptying its contents onto herself. The only problem beiing that she didn't seem to know when to stop.

"Uh..." After a few seconds, Imouto finally reached out and touched Yuki's wrist, "Hehe... That's enough. Don't wanna use too much."

Yuki stopped the instant the girl told her to, before she moved on to what she believed to be the next step. In this case, that meant pulling the front of the diaper over top of her and then taping it shut. "Is this correct?" she asked once finished.

"Yuuup!" Pulling the alien into a seat position, Imouto was all too happy to give her a great big hug, "Hehe... That's perfect! Now your butt's nice and protected! How's it feel?"

"It fits well," was the girl's answer, simple and to the point. After that, though, it was perhaps a little odd to see Yuki give what could only be described as a casual yawn, with no apparent reaction after she finished.

"Awww, are you sleepy, Yuki?" Imouto saw fit to give the diapered high schooler a hug at that. It was pretty late... Maybe she should be going, "Ooo! Know what? Let's ask big brother if you can sleep over! You can share my bed with me!"

"Hm, perhaps." Though Yuki had to inform the girl afterward, "At this time of day, however, I tend to only nap."

"Wow, you must stay up late then..." With that in mind, Imouto still tugged the alien to her feet, "But you can take a nap here before you go home, right? C'mon, I'll go ask Kyon!"

The alien didn't respond, instead content to watch alongside the technically older girl on the way to Kyon. However, Yuki did also take the opportunity to casually stick her thumb in her mouth.

"Heh... Maybe we should get you a stuffed animal too..." giggled out Imouto. As she pulled into the living room, her sibling looked up from the TV , "Big brother!"

"Hey!" Immediately rising from his seat, Kyon moved to the girls, first speaking to his sister, "Did you let her change herself?"

"Uh-huh!" With a nod, Imouto patted the alien's rear, "She did ti all on her own! I just kinda helped."

"Hm." With that in mind, Kyon looked Yuki in the eyes, "Is that true? Do you have the data you'll need if you have to change yourself?"

After a moment, Yuki removed her thumb long enough to answer with a simple, "Yes."

As she was about to stick her thumb back where it was, though, the girl gave another yawn. Again she showed no particular reaction to it happening, however, and merely began to suck on her thumb as intended after it had finished.

"You look tired," came the equally-simple answer.

"Yeah, she needsa nap," replied Imouto with a smile. Hugging the alien's legs, she gave her big brother the puppy-dog eyes, "I think she should take a nap here. And if she wants, is it okay if she sleeps over? I mean, you like her right?"

"Hm." That could provide problems if Haruhi heard about it. Worried, Kyon asked his guest, "You okay with that?"

As she did not feel like removing her thumb, Yuki's answer came with a simple nod of her head.

Although seconds later she had to remove it anyway, when she decided on a request she had to make, "If possible, can the ba-ba be in working order when I awaken?"

"Heh. Sure..." Guiding the girl over to the sofa and helping her lie down, Kyon replied, "I can get one ready for you. Would you prefer juice or milk?"

"Ooo!" Holding up a finger, Imouto replied, "Hang on a sec!" before bolting up the stairs.

"It can produce either?" After a moment, though, the girl's answer was, "Milk. I have had juice today, but I have not had milk."

"I can get that then." Grabbing a throw pillow, Kyon slid it under the alien's head, informing, "Uh... THing is, it's going to have whatever you fill it up with. You can put tea in it if you want."

The girl's reaction to that was silence for a moment, before she eventually settled on, "I would like tea, then."

"Shuold've known you'd like that," replied Kyon, petting the alien's head. Standing, he pulled a blanket over her before saying, "Just leave it to me then."

"Yuki!" Hopping down the stairs two at a time, Imouto reappeared. Only now she had a large stuffed kitty under her arms. Offering it out to the alien, she asked, "You like her? You can borrow her if you want!"

"That would be appreciated," came Yuki's answer, in the same tone as ever. After she gave said answer the girl yawned once more however, and then her thumb found its way back to her mouth.

"Here ya go..." Very gently, Imouto put the kitty under the covers with her new recipient before kissing her on the forehead, "G'night, Yuki!"

"Oh, come here..." Grabbing his little sister by the shirt, Kyon pulled her away. When they were in the hallway, he finally spoke up with, "She's not really a baby. Don't treat her too much like one."

Imouto's immediate response was a pout, "Aww,w but she liked it! And she acts like a baby, so why not-"

"If I treated you the way you act, you'd be going to preschool," replied Kyon with a frown. When his sister stuck his tongue out at him, he just shrugged, "Just get me the teabags from the pantry, alright?"

"Kay!"


	2. Phonecall Quickie

"Kyon, phone's ringing!"

"I know, I know. . ."

From where he had sat on the couch half-heartedly reading, Kyon weakly rolled over to grab his cellphone off the coffee table. Didn't have to guess at first as to who might be calling, but when he actually took a look he saw that it wasn't Haruhi's home or cell number but rather a mystery one.

"Probably forgot her phone," he quickly decided with a sigh as he answered the unknown number. His greeting was a simple, very annoyed, "Yeah?"

"Hello."

That wasn't quite the voice that Kyon was expecting, but it was a familiar one. "Nagato? Where are you calling from?"

"The police station."

That definitely got Kyon's attention, to the point that he very quickly rose off the couch. His voice even raised a bit as he asked, "What happened? Did Haruhi put you to something, or --"

"Suzumiya is not involved."

That definitely got Kyon all the more curious, but Yuki quickly explained exactly what had happened. Kind of. "I was mistaken for a child and brought here. Someone is required to come here or they will not allow me to leave."

"I'll get my bike. . ."

With another heavy sigh as he headed to the door, Kyon quickly asked, "Anything you need brought there or something?"

"A new dydee would be appreciated. This one is wet."

"Not what I meant, but okay. Be there soon. . ."


	3. Pair of Quickies

"Idea!"

It wasn't exactly uncommon for silences in the clubroom to be broken up by Haruhi suddenly making an exclamation that usually if it did wind up making sense to anyone but her took five minutes to get there. With a sigh, Kyon did not bother to look up at the girl as she rose with that proclamation, nor when she followed up with, "I have a genius way to make people more interested in us than even Mikuru can manage!"

That was enough to let Kyon know he needed to be the one to speak up, seeing as how it was evidentally his duty to do so. The only other member of the group who was likely to, and for that matter the only other male, was absent as he often was for usually unexplained reasons. "What is it this time?"

"Yuki!"

The diapered alien turned her head only slightly when Haruhi pointed a finger her way, and said nothing as the girl then threw her hands on her hips and declared, "It's perfect! Yuki carries a certain physical attraction. . ."

Okay, this seemed harmless by Haruhi standards thus far, perhaps Kyon could let it go. But he had the feeling he was going to have to try in vain to talk the girl out fo something or other before this subject was finished with. . .

"Plus she has that childlike innocence and youth girly girls fawn over!"

Yeah, there it was. He didn't do anything but heavily sigh, though, until she further exclaimed, "It's perfect! We get her standing on a street corner without a bit of clothing besides that dump-container and we can watch men and women of all ages come running to -"

"No. No, no, no."

Rising from his seat, Kyon kept his tone low bt was clearly annoyed as he complained, "This is crossing a few lines even for you. For one thing, she'd probably be arrested - and two. . ."

"Nonsense!"

Waving a hand dismissively, Haruhi declared, "It's perfect! What downsides could there possibly be to -"

The brigade chief froze up, as she hit on something. Mikuru seemed to do it next as she gave a little quiver before turning her head toward the girl sitting in the corner silently reading, and then Kyon caught on as well. With a huff, Haruhi's own response was to melodramatically throw a hand over her nose and complain, "Nice counter-argument, Yuki."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"As such, I'm declaring this a time for action! Any contests, regardless of how insignifcant, at the fesitval must have an SOS Brigade entry - no disobediance on this will be accepted!"

Of course, it varied how much the group was listening to their chief rattle on about nothing in particular. Yuki, however, was doing so the least, far more focused on a work going on in her mind. Not that it showed any in her face, her calm, unmoving body as typical as the slouch and elbow Kyon had prominently on display where he sat.

"A lack of victories will not be tolerated! While the four of you do not have the skills to sweep the day, I expect each of you to brign at least one award back to the clubhouse with you that day. Those of you who don't will be severly punished!"

Haruhi crossed her arms over her chest, then one of them flew out to point dramatically at Kyon with a cry of, "Pay attention!"

"I am, reluctantly."

"You'd better be. There'll be a quiz on what I've had to say before I will permit you to leave today - you will hear it again if you fail even a single questionnn -"

Breaking off there, Haruhi suddenly gave a squirm. From where she sat by the window, Yuki turned her head to watch when the girl proceeded to give a heavy shudder before shouting, "Be right back!" and dashing off without explanation.

With the group left unattended, it was Kyon who asked of the other two sitting at the table, "What was that about?"

Koizumi, meanwhile, gave a quick, "Who can say?" Mikuru's own response was to turn pink and shrug.

As for Yuki, she chose not to say anything. She did, however, intentally mull over the fact that a bathroom emergency was not quite as extreme as she intended - she would have to work to assume greater control.


End file.
